Over The Fence With Gibbo

Brent Yarnold found some good form to win Hogan’s Plumbing Supplies A Grade Par event with a solid plus 4 from Peter Barker on Plus 3. B Grade was won by Grant Melham [+3] from James Cavanagh [+2] with R Simnett [+3] and the consistent Kel Lansley [+1] the best in C Grade. Kevin Haigh and Glen Thomas both on minus 11 picked up an encouragement award at presentation.

The nearest to pin awards went to B Robinson, B Yarnold,  A Yarnold, A McCann, I Pomplun, M Newnham, M Garfland and P Simpson. 86 players were in the field with visitors from Cammeray, Maitland, Muree, Moruya and Wingham. Neville Burke won the Lucky Draw and the Halfway House was managed by Brent Yarnold and Shannyn Pennings.

MIDWEEK

There were 29 in the field on Tuesday. Michael Dunlea on 41 was best from Kel Lansley [39], Bruce Walker [38], Terry Fitzgerald and Neville Burke [37]. Thursday’s field of 84 was led by Graeme Noble [38] on a count back from Peter Simpson. Alex Drury and D Paterson [37] also won prizes. The fourball was won by R Webber and T Coote [45] on a countback from D Adams and P Simpson. Peter Doherty won the scratch score and the nearest to p0ins were won by C Martin, P Doherty and P Barker.

WOMEN’S GOLF

The First Round of the Saxby Pharmacy Club Championships was played last Wednesday with all grades closely contested. Cindy Googh [86] leads Division 1, Barbara Whitley [99] was best in Division 2 and Joyce Nesbitt [107] is in front in Division 3. In the net, Linda Sinclair [68] and Cindy Googh [70], Division 1, Barbara Whitley [69]  M Pryor[77]  and E Blake [78], Division 2, Joyce Nesbitt [74], Sue Bell [76] and Denise Wilkes []76] , Division 3, were the best scores.

The Saturday winner was Samantha Rinortner [66] from Lyn Burke [75]. Pat Kristiansen won the nearest to the pin.

Tomorrow the second round of the Club Championships will be played in what is expected to be excellent conditions.

COMING UP

Next Saturday will be a fourball mixed and members [Multiplier] for trophies sponsored by Taree North Rotary. The following Saturday will be a stableford and then a week later, the Classic Jewellers Monthly Mug. The Masters Pennants will be played this month with results published as they come to hand.

LAST SAY

New Variations on Cow Economics [conclusion].

A Chinese Corporation.

You have two cows

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation

You have two cows. You worship them.

A British Corporation

You have two cows. Both are mad.

An Iraqi Corporation

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them you have none.

No-one believes you so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a democracy.

An Australian Corporation

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A New Zealand Corporation.

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

Mal Moore returned to Taree with some sparkling form to win the Classic Design Jeweller’s Monthly Mug carding a creditable 67 net. Second in A Grade was Ken Sheather on 69 while Peter Simpson won the scratch score on 75. Michael Hotchkiss was best in B Grade [68] on a countback from Glen Thomas. Paul Brennan’s 85 won the scratch. C Grade was won by, up and coming junior, Aaron Dodd [69] on a countback from Kel Lansley. John Bevan [90] had the best scratch score.

82 players made up the field with visitors from Muree, Kareela, Wauchope, Wingham, Everglades and a group from the Central Coast. Nearest to pins were won by S Hollick, P Simpson, D Farmer, A Yarnold, R Hinton, M Rinortner, B Coleman, J Kreymborg, M Hotchkiss, D Brown and S Ison. Thanks to Rose Brinkman and Mark Newnham who managed the Halfway House. Stuart Innes, a relatively new golfer to Taree and who was instrumental in arranging for the Central Coast players to play here, was presented with the encouragement award. Balls went to 72 net. The Lucky Draw will jackpot until next week.

MIDWEEK

Last Tuesday 21 starters competed with Steve Ison’s 41 points the best from Kel Lansley on 37 followed by T Fitzgerald [36] and Bob Nupier [35].

Thursday attracted 58 players and featured a win to John Guyer [39] on a counback from Alex Drury. Steve Ison was third on 38 points. Peter Doherty [36] won the scratch score.

Paul Dalton and Ron Reed won the fourball with 46 points. Balls went to 35 points.

WOMEN’S GOLF

Last Wednesday in a day made from golf 32 Lady Golfers competed in the Walker Lynch and Petersen stableford event. Catherine Andrews [35] was best in Division 1 from Judy McKenzie [33]. In Division 2 Winsome Stitt’s 36 was the top score while in Division 3 Joyce Nesbitt [32] outlasted Barbara Boyd [30]. Nearest to pins were won by Robin Scott, Judy Fuller and Carmel Walley.

In the Saturday competition Samantha Rinortner [36] won on a countback from Jeannette Yeark. Nearest to pins were won by L Burke and E Rinortner. On Saturday 28^th April Taree defeated Forster- Tuncurry in an Inter-Club Challenge.

On Tuesday and Wednesday 1^st and 2^nd May, 11 Taree representatives travelled to Kempsey to a CNC Tournament. Margaret Pryor was Runner/up in the 36 Hole event while Elsie Blake won the 18 Hole Tuesday event. On the following day June Sorby was

Runner/up in the 18 Hole event. Ball winners were E Blake, M Pryor, J Yeark and J Sorby.

Tomorrow will be the first round of the Classic Design Jewellers Club Championships with Wingham Eye Care sponsoring the weekly event.

COMING UP

Next Saturday will be a Par Event for the Hogan Plumbing Group Trophies, followed by a Mixed and Members Fourball [Multiplier] with trophies sponsored by Taree North Rotary and the final Saturday this month will be a Stableford event for Club Trophies. Each Sunday this month will feature a round of the LNC Master Pennants.

LAST SAY

New variations of the cow economy [continued].

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other one to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows. You borrow lots of Euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them, so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A strong combination of Ben Marron and Steve O’Donoghue shot a creditable 113 to win the Club Taree Foursomes Championship over 27 holes. Both players contributed to a number of birdies with some big hitting and deft chips and putts. Runners-up were Rod Desborough and Jamie Kreymborg on 116. Bob Nupier and Geoff Dumas were the best in the net event on 108.5. The B Grade Champions were John Andrews and Graham Gibson whose score of 122 was well ahead of the next best. Michael Byrne and Brendan Robinson [108] were best in the net from Matt Delaney and Kevin Haigh [108.25]. The nearest to pins were won by Peter Simpson and Aaron Yarnold. He scores were a little deflated owing to the heavy conditions and intermittent rain. However the 56 players enjoyed the new format of playing the first 18 from the 13th to the 12^th and then completing the front 9 holes to complete the 27 holes. The halfway house provided lunch which was most convenient and masterfully managed by guess who?? Rose and Kay.

SATURDAY STABLEFORD

A Grade was won by Aaron Yarnold [41] from Tony Wiseman [37] with Michael Tate [42] supreme in B Grade from Brian Schneider [39]. S Everett [40] beat Kel Lansley on a countback to win C Grade. There were 103 players in the field with visitors from Wauchope and Coonamble. Nearest to pins were won by: A Yarnold, P Barker, G Procter, M Smith, C Mitchell, J Blacker, B Schneider, R Haug, K Lansley, P Simpson and A Yarnold. Robert Gyde hit his tee shot 4cms  short of the hole on the 14^th but did not get the nearest to the pin as he was in B Grade not C Grade. A suggestion was made that the Committee could consider varying the nearest to pins to four  par threes  involving a prize for each of A, B and C Grades with a couple of par 4’s to make up the numbers for the sponsors. Thanks to Rose and Michael Byrne for their efforts at the halfway house.

MIDWEEK

Another smart innovation has been introduced for ANZAC Day.  A two person Ambrose was held over 9 holes [shotgun start at 1.30] following the morning Anzac Functions. The winners were A Yarnold and M Schneider from G Wright/W Googh, R Brinkman/R Davis, R White/K Lansley, P Kimberley/C Kennedy, J Connellan/ D Walker and M Pennings/ P Dalton. It was good to see a mixture of men’s, ladies’ and mixed teams involved.

Last Tuesday there were only 15 players in difficult conditions. Peter Wildblood [37] was best from Rod Desborough [36]. Better conditions attracted a good field on Thursday. Geoff Procter, always in the mix, had the best score of 42 points with a scratch score of 35 points to win both events. Don Sheather also played well with a sound 41 points. Rob Moore was next on 38 points. He combined with Mal Shultz to win the fourball [46] from Mark Pennings and Paul Dalton [43 c/b]. Balls went to 34 points and the nearest to pins were won by S Ison, R Hayes and R Desborough.

COMING UP

Next Saturday will feature the Classic Design Monthly Mug, followed by a Par event [ Hogan Plumbing Group], Mixed and Members Fourball Multiplier [ Taree North Rotary]and on the final Saturday in May will be a Stableford event. The Masters Pennants begin on Sunday 13^th with Rounds 2 and 3 on the following Sundays. Good luck to the Taree side.

LAST SAY

New variations of the cow economy [continued].

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other one to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows. You borrow lots of Euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them, so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

Last Saturday was a combination of serious golf and friendly banter with the Annual Patrons Day Mixed and Members Fourball in conjunction with the Captain Versus President Match and the Mixed Keno Knockout Qualifying Round. There were 116 players in the field on a damp, heavy but well presented course.

The winners in the men’s event were Steve Carr and Michael Tate [48] on a countback from R Cribb and A Saad. Aaron Yarnold and Mark Newnham were 3^rd with a well compiled 46 points. In the mixed event Sam and Mark Rinortner [47] were best from Rod and Margaret Hinton [44].

Captain Michael Byrne left no doubt as to his joy in winning the Captain versus President Match in a revised format of only counting the top 10 scores from each team with a  score of 142 to 138. There was a view circulating that this format clearly favoured the Captain’s team and the President has been advised to look more closely into any future revisions in the format of this event.

The Keno Qualifiers were R and M Hinton, L and B Hodgson and N and R Nupier. Good luck to them in the next round.

Nearest to Pin winners were J Saad, J Hurrell, R Desborough, S Innes, M Tate [2], J Hourn, J Tippett, L Wittig and D Reed. The halfway house was ably managed by David Aarons and Peter Burke.

MIDWEEK

Last Tuesday was so wet that not even the most ardent mudrunners were prepared to meet the challenge. Thursday was a little better with 32 players competing. John Inskip with an admirable 40 points was the winner from Stuart Innes on 38.The Fourball was won by Rod Desborough and Ken Sheather [42].

WOMEN’S GOLF

The rain again was so heavy that the Wednesday competition was cancelled. A major CNC Pennant tournament was played on the Monday which was successful despite moist conditions for most of the day. The suggestion that the La Nina conditions were over seems to be a little premature. Golfers everywhere are looking forward to some consistent dry weather and the Green Staff who have done very well to have the course so good for the past consistently wet two years.

LIFE MEMBERSHIP TO KAY AND ROSE

Last Sunday at the Annual General Meeting of Club Taree Kay Woolcock and Rose Brinkman were awarded Life Membership of Taree RSL and Golf Club by a very enthusiastic meeting. Senior Vice President Graham Gibson outlined the considerable contributions of both which was supported by Golf President Peter Fitzpatrick and the presentation of Medals was made by President Carl Guy.

COMING UP

A 9 Hole 2 man ambrose will be held tomorrow [Anzac Day] and will be a shotgun start at 1.00 pm. Next Saturday will be a stableford for the Bundy Tour Group trophies   and on Sunday 29^th will be the 27 holes Men’s Foursomes Championships. The first Saturday in May will be the Classic Design Jewellers Monthly Mug and the following Saturday will be the Hogan Plumbing Group Par event. Round 1 of the Masters Pennant will be played on Sunday 13^th May. Saturday 19^th May will feature a Mixed and Members Fourball with trophies donated by the Taree North Rotary Club and will be a Multiplier event.

AROUND THE TRAPS

With the persistent wet weather there has been much discussion about driving carts responsibly around the course. It would seem to me that golfers should take care to select the driest route on all holes driving where possible in the rough. There is even a rumour that a cart was bogged right next to the new path on the 13^th and that another cart was bogged during a course inspection. However you cannot believe everything you hear.

New Variations of the Cow Economy [continued].

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND [Venture] CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother–in-law at the bank, then execute, a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you can get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The Annual Report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

[to be continued]

ole holoes Men’s Foursomes Championships

The winner of the Classic Design Jewellers Monthly Mug and B Grade was Simon Magin with an impressive 64 net. A Grade was won by Graham Goodwin on a countback from Peter Doherty with a 67 net. Mark Kircher [67] was second in B Grade while Kevin Sharpe [67] was best in C Grade from R Cribb [69]. There were 101 players in the field and visitors from Charlestown, Mt Isa, Cobar and Massey Park enjoying the course and the perfect conditions.

Nearest to pins were won by: B Yarnold, G Goodwin, M Kircher, A Yarnold, J Collier, B Schneider, M Rinortner, B Steber, R Desborough and P Doherty. Kay Woolcock and Rose Brinkman ran the Halfway House. The Lucky Draw was not won so will jackpot next week.

The presentation ceremony was  lively affair on Saturday as presentations were made to the winners of the 2011 Club Champions and to the successful Taree Division 2 LNC

Pennant Team. Representative of Saxby / Schweppes, perennial sponsor of the Club Championships, Ian Turner, made presented the Champions and Roley Kinnear LNC

Captain presented the Pennant team with their shirts and Pennant .Appreciation of the sponsors was enthusiastically expressed.

MIDWEEK

Easter Monday’s Stableford event was won by Mark Pennings with 37 points from S

Innis [36]. Neroli Nupier was best in the Ladies event from Catherine Andrews [34].

Robert Gyde and J Morgan [33] were also prize winners.  There were 31 in the field which made it a worth while event.

On Tuesday Bob Worth returned to form to win on 41 from Richard Baker [38], Geoff Fuller [37], R Gyde, B Walker [36] and G Noble [35]. The field was composed of 28 players.

On Thursday there were 75 in the field led by J Blacker [41] from Bob Nupier, D Paterson [38] and Geoff Procter [37]. Peter Doherty won the scratch [35] while Paul Dalton and Bob Nupier won the fourball on 46 points from Rod Desborough and J Blacker [46]. 34 points was good enough to win a ball and the nearest to pins were won by A McCann, P Westley and P Barker.

WOMEN’S GOLF

The seasonal stableford event last Wednesday, consisting of 35 players was won by Catherine Andrews 36 on a countback from Cindy Googh in Division 1. In Division 2 Rachel Russell [46] blitzed the field from Samantha Rinortner [37]. Jenny Sharpe [37] won Division 3 from Lorraine Hodgson [34]. Nearest to pins were won by A Ward, J McKenzie. R Russell, D Watman and G Duncan.

Tomorrow will be 3 person Ambrose sponsored by the Orange travellers and will be a shotgun start 8.30.

COMING UP

Next Saturday will be a Mixed and Members Fourball in conjunction with Captain vs President and Patron’s Day. It will also be the qualifying round of the Keno Mixed event. Saturday the 28^th will be a Stableford sponsored by the Bundy Tour Group which will be followed on the Sunday be the 27 Hole Foursomes Championships.

AROUND THE TRAPS

With the warmer weather forecast it is the ideal time to begin creating the cart paths and drainage that are so badly needed to cope with wet weather. While funds have been growing through the course cart fund, it is obvious that more will be needed to complete the long term plans. Following a visit to a garage sale recently, it has occurred to me that a Monster Golf Garage Sale could be created at the Club to boost funds. Golfers could donate saleable items they no longer need to be sold on a gala fun day with miscellaneous fun activities running in conjunction; mixing business with pleasure. Perhaps it is worth thinking about.

It was good to see the effort made to enhance Saturday’s stroke event with the presentations to the Champions and Pennant winners. It is events like that which build a strong sense of camaraderie and belonging to a Club that can only be beneficial in ensuring the future of the game. Well done. It was obvious that the Pennant 2 Winners had a good time on Saturday, celebrating their success.

LAST SAY

New Variations on the Cow Economy.

SOCIALISM

You have two cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have two cows

The State, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

[To be continued]

Runner up in 2009 and winner in 2010 Andrew Haigh, has claimed the Manning River Open again in 2012. However he did not have it all his own way as it took a play- off with promising junior Jarrod Harris to finalise the event. Both finished on 146. Beaten in 2009 in a play-off by Andrew Kirkman, Haigh’s experience won the day. At presentation Andrew Haigh commented that Jarrod would be a certain winner in the future. The course tested the players as the winning scores were slightly higher than usual with pin placements aimed to challenge the most patient of players. The course however was in ideal conditions, a credit to Paul Eggins, the Green Staff and Director Bob Dixon.

The A grade net winner was Mark Newnham [134] from Jason Collier [137] and Aaron Yarnold [138].

In B Grade another junior, Connor Leslie [167] was best on a countback from a youthful Neville Burke. Sam Ison [139] was best in B Grade net from Graham Gibson and Kevin Haigh [141]. Another junior Aaron Dodd [181] was the best in C Grade from Ben Smith.

Robert Cribb [134] was best in C Grade from, Robert Connolly [144] and Mark Rinortner [145]aighHarrisdH

Visitors from Mangrove Mountain, Uralla, Waratah, Parkwood, Mount Isa, Wingham, and Harrington Waters were some that were recognised in the fields. Many were very complimentary concerning the course and organisation, though a little curious about nearest to pins in grades.

On Friday, Wayne Stewart and Steve O’Donoghue won the Fourball Scratch score with an impressive 3 under par 39 points. Mark Newnham and Aaron Yarnold were second on 37 points. Ray Bisby and Terry Wheeler won the net with a score of 48 points from Rod Higgins and David Bailey [47], Peter and David Simpson, Bill McCartney and Bob Worth, D Blake and D Smith, S Parish and K McKillop- Davies [45].

There is little doubt that the 2012 Easter Tournament ran very smoothly and did the course very proud. The presentation of trophies were extremely amusing and clearly enjoyed by all in attendance.  Congratulations to all concerned with the presentation and running of this prestigious event.

It was with some interest that I was informed that big hitting Taree golfer, now living in the salubrious surroundings of Tallwoods, one John Adamson, has found that our trees are still hard and tall when his powerful drive of the 18 tee finished behind the 13th green. Fortunately it was a fourball.

MID WEEK

On Tuesday Robert Gyde had a day out scoring a fine 42 points from John Saad on 41`. Balls were won by G Noble [39], K Sheather [38] R Nupier [37] N Burke, K Lansley [36] and D Nicholas [35].

Unfortunately, at the time of going to print Thursday’s results were not available.

WOMEN’S GOLF

Jan Howard provided the trophies for the Club Medal event last Wednesday that involved 47 players. The gross events, donated by Judy McKenzie, were won by Jill Gosling [93], Margaret Pryor [95] and Joyce Nesbitt. Nett winners were Lyn Burke, Margaret Haigh, Neroli Nupier, Pat Kimberley, Margaret Pryor, Jane Willemson, Joyce Nesbitt, Di Wilkes and Rowena Meldrum. Nearest to pins were won by M Haigh, C Googh, S Bell and J Sorby. Putting competitions were won by Linda Sinclair, Pat Kimberley and Joyce Nesbitt.

COMING UP

Saturday’s this month will be  Classic Design Jewellers Monthly Mug, followed by Mixed and Members Fourball [Patron’s Day], Bundy Tour Group Stableford. The last Sunday 29^th, will be the Club Foursomes Championship over 27 holes.

LAST SAY

ONLY THE IRISH [continued]

1. Joe says to Paddy: “Close the curtains the next time you are being intimate with your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.” Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them silly people because I wasn’t even at home yesterday.”
2. Mick walks into Paddy’s barn and catches him naked in front of a tractor. Mick says “Oh no Paddy what are your doing? Paddy says well me and Mary haven’t been getting on too well in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.”
3. Paddy say to Mick “I am ready for a holiday, only this year I am going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks “: So what are you going to do this year”? Paddy replies, “I’ll take her with me.”

Quotation of the week: “Those who would limit freedom of the press must have something to hide.”… E Kelly